About the Book
Childhood Trauma • Emotionally Distant Parents• Drugs, Sex; the Turmoil of the 70’s
Sexual Orientation Shame and Rejection
All Ingredients for Disaster
Cult. A word we all know, but few will confront in their own lives. Something other families might have to deal with, something that will impact other children. Right? Maybe. Or, maybe not.
A bright and beautiful child brought up in an idyllic ranch setting, as a young woman Sandy who later re-named herself Tarra, should have had it all. Instead, she fell prey to a psychopath who consumed more than a decade and a half of her life.
“He did not need to chain or lock us in the room; our fear kept us in bondage, more securely immobilized than any physical restraints could have ever done…What chains are greater than those imposed by the beliefs in our minds?”Tarra Judson Stariell, LMFT
How do we become victims of our own irrationality?
What makes us vulnerable to the predators among us?
Why would an otherwise sensitive, intelligent woman allow herself to return again and again to her abuser?
How do we stop the erosion of our self-worth?
Nature vs. nurture. As we read Sanity: Lost and Found we cannot help but attribute Sandy’s vulnerabilities to her upbringing. Young and caught up in their own disappointments, her emotionally distant parents could not have realized the impact of their withdrawal on their child. Yet, like many children raised with emotionally absent parents, Sandy might still have thrived – had she not been sexually assaulted and forced to keep the violation to herself without outside support, setting the stage for years of emotional vulnerability that even the unconditional love of her grandmother could not overcome.
Moving to Colombia to be with her fiancé, she joined the Peace Corps in the turbulent 70’s immersing herself in the culture of the country she was serving. Sandy embraced the mysticism of her constituents, and believed a message she had received, asking her to return home and fulfill what she thought was her mission – to warn people that life as we knew it would not continue if people continued to live the way they were on the planet. Facing rejection and criticism, Sandy fell prey to a man, uniquely validating, who agreed to help her spread the message. She spent the next decade and more as an abused woman, controlled by his illness and her own disassociation from reality, leaving and returning to him over and over again, in a textbook-case manner despite the brutality of her existence within his orbit.
How she found the strength to extricate herself, to heal, and ultimately help others is a hero’s journey, at once compelling and horrifying, frightening and inspirational.
Simultaneously recognizable and terrifying, we see parts of ourselves and our own vulnerabilities in this compelling story of one woman’s descent into and climb out of the abyss. And in her journey back to self and sanity, we are reminded of what true courage really is.
For anyone who has ever allowed themselves to be victimized, or has ever doubted their value, or who wants to protect their children from such vulnerabilities,Sanity: Lost and Found is a compelling, informative, and inspirational read that weaves together the how and why for such vulnerabilities and the components necessary for recovery and transformation.,